Secrets, we all of have them…
When speaking to friends or coworkers we tend to open up and start talking about things of personal nature that you entrust without a second thought. You may think that there is no harm in doing so, but sometimes we get carried away and we may leak some confidential information.
By engaging in conversation of people comparisons we tend to rush our train of thought which can lead to a slip of entrusted information and most importantly feelings of others. This type of conversational habit is easy to get trapped into and before you even realize it, you’ve suddenly opened up, spilled your guts and infringed on other people’s lives.
Voluntarily sharing information is not necessarily a bad thing if strictly speaking the truth. However, the bigger problem lies in the reason why we share personal information. This can be fulled by many human emotions; anger, excitement, fear, envy, love and are only a few examples that lead us to this behavior.
Obviously we don’t want to intentionally tell someone how your friend has a third nipple or such, but things happen in the moment of excitement when speaking to someone you like. This can also happen in attempt to make yourself relatable to person you meet. When you share a secret, you attempt to gain trust with means of hypocrisy.
Observation is the key in finding different interaction patterns.
Sure, most of use enjoy making new friends, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. This can be observed after you’ve known someone for certain amount of time. For example, your new friend has not shared any personal information in your social interactions. Mostly nodding and smiling at your comments.
It goes without saying that we should make new friends, but we must consider a few hypothetical questions before we devote additional time to one-sided friendships. This can determine whether we remain friends or move on.
Am I sharing personal information to get accepted by this person?
Is this person ever going to trust me and do the same?
If I share a secret will my other friends know?
Do I feel good when speaking to this person?
If you want a friend that only listens and you see them as means of venting and stress relief, then there is nothing wrong with that. The truth is; we don’t have perfect friends and at some point you will talk about them regardless of intentions. You however, are not excluded from being talked about either. Fair is fair…
In the end, your mental state is what matters the most. You can balance different environments with different friends and keep those separate for the sake of your own mental health. This is why you don’t need to visit a psychologist in order to talk about people and feelings. All of us make friends in order to use them as our own form of treatment.
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